Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
