Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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