dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
