So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
