Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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