You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
