Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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