I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
