I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I will be naked everywhere
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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