went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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