TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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