I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
