I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
