I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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