Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
