i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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