just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
pray to the hookup gods
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
