I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize