just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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