loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
