Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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