wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
