Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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