I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pants are for mortals
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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