so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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