Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize