Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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