dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
not ubering you a puppy
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I deserve this hangover.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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