He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
