wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I understand Curling. That high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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