Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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