He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
