he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
