I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
