I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
