I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize