I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my being single is dangerous.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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