problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
id be glad to
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize