I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He did a backflip because drugs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
