kristin has been a bad kristin
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
