that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
