someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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