That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
