I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize