You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
