can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
