So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
