Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
