Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
