my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize