We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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