sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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