This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize