Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
