omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
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