I wish I only lived at night.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
