Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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