What did we do last night that was yellow?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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