my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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