this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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