i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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