I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
