someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
