that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
