I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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