I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
