Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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