drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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