Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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