I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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