Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize