...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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