when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
