I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
